Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

You had me at hello

A man was assaulted after saying hi to his friend at a Skokie bar. According to police, the man said hello to his friend but was punched in the face and knocked down. He told police he is unsure why his friend attacked him.

Hot stove

A stove valued at around $4,000 was reported stolen from a vacant Skokie business.

A place to store everything, including your contraband

A woman left The Container Store in Northbrook without paying for $295.96 worth of metal shelves.

Counter-culture vandal

A Winnetka resident returned home to discover that an unknown intruder had entered the home and spray-painted a wall in the kitchen. Nothing appears to be missing at this time, but the damage totals roughly $200.

And the week's most creative plea to police...

Des Plaines police said they found cocaine in a 38-year-old man’s car, sticking out of a plastic piece on the ceiling of the vehicle. According to police, when they arrested him, the man, said, “Come on, that’s personal use. I’m not selling. Give me a chance.”