By Lisa Barr
Did you happen to see the woman lying face down, fully clothed (completely disheveled), Hefty bags under her eyes, cell phone dead ... on her driveway Sunday night? Yeah, that would be me.
I. Am. A. Homecoming. Survivor.
Just Barely. I won't get into all the details because I have an almost 16 year old daughter who would truly kill me. Let's just say that I had the 2 a.m. shift (through 11 a.m. the next morning.) The Sleepover ... aka: The All-Nighter. For those who don't know The Drill, it goes something like this: There are pictures, then the Homecoming Dance at the High School, then 'The Group' goes out for dinner or The Group may go to a fun sports arena (gymnastics, trampoline, etc.), followed by an After Party ... and then the SLEEPOVER ... and then the Next Day ... everyone gets up (figure of speech -- no one goes to sleep) and meets up again with their respective dates for brunch. It's a lot of fun for the kids, and a lot of preparation -- not so fun -- especially if you're a GIRL MOM.
Homecoming in the GIRL WORLD starts at least two months prior to the dance with The Dress Search (note: whenever the word "Dress" is used, substitute "Stress.")
Boy Moms have it so damn easy in the School Dance Department. Finding a shirt. And that's it. Unless they grew out of their "good pants" or shoes. Then, that too. One Boy Mom said to me, "Stress? Not at all. I just remind my son to shave and that's it." Another Boy Mom told me, "Stress? My son was actually on the treadmill at 5:30." (note: pictures prior to the dance began at 6:30 p.m.). Ask me where I was ... Let's just say -- NOT ON A TREADMILL. Our "Getting Ready" began at 1 p.m. SO SO SO NOT FAIR. To add fuel to the fire, one Boy Mom laughed when I described my Homecoming Prepping to her. "My big dilemma," she said, "was deciding should my son go in stripes or a solid shirt."
"Stripes or Solids -- that's your dilemma?" Just Shoot Me.
You get the picture ... If you've got a girl getting ready for a dance -- take out your wallet and just hand it over to the Beauty Gods. Your Week Before and/or Day Of includes most of the following: wax (whatever needs to go, goes this week), mani/pedi, pick up dress if altered, HAIR (in some circles this can be a bigger decision than the dress -- up? down? straight? curly? braided? partially up? partially down? flat-ironed? highlighted?), makeup, purse, shoes, jewelry ... Okay, to be fair, a guy may need a hair-cut too. I'm not asking for a Pity Party here (maybe a little sympathy would be nice) ... Let's just say you happen to have one daughter getting ready for Homecoming -- plus TWO other teenage daughters who have their exclusive demands -- one has to get ready for a Bat-Mitzvah party; the other has a casual party with "nothing to wear". And oh, you suddenly have a gas leak on top of it (with the Big Sleepover happening at your house that night). Yes, the picture is now in full-color -- GIRL DRAMA goin' strong... waiting for the Gas Guy (who finally comes, fixes, and leaves) ... "fires" are being put out in my house left and right.
Thelma. Louise. Wine. Those three words kept running through my head all day.
I LOVE MY DAUGHTERS -- it's the prepping that kills me. I know there are Moms Out There with one daughter, and Homecoming and all the girlie touches can indeed be "special time" together. But for me -- and I'm just being honest here -- it's stressful; a race to the Finish Line -- more like Bondage than Bonding Time.
In the end, like the final swish of a car wash -- My Girl comes out looking beautiful. And we have a moment of: Mommy, what do you think?
What do I think? All day I wanted to get into my car, punch it and drive without turning back. But now ... now ... WOW. I clasped my hands together. So poised, so together, and so ready for Her Big Night.
Yes, I'm the Driver, I'm the Checkbook, I'm the Punching Bag ... but one look at her ... and The Day of Drama was gone ...
Not forgotten. As she took pictures with all her friends, and then waved goodbye ... I took it all in ... and then all I could think about was Next Year when I'd have TWO (of my three) daughters in High School Homecoming Mode. I kid you not when I say that I already called their Grandma and said, RESERVE the day NOW! to help divide and conquer. What I didn't say, is remember that woman lying on the driveway at the end of Homecoming? Next year, I swear, I just know ... she will NOT get up.
The problem is, a plurality of Geneva readers have no sense of humor and their only goal is to bring you down to their least common denominator level. They don't want a conversation, they want to control and dominate the conversation. They forget that they, and anyone who comes across Geneva Patch, always have the option of NOT reading something. So don't make any apologies, that only encourages them. Jeff
I am a parent of children who are polar opposites in the social arena. One who seeks the limelight, wants involvement in every activity, etc. the other could care less and honestly I think the biggest problem was us, the parents. I wanted to "solve" the non-social issue because it just didn't seem normal to me. I've come to realize my kids have found their comfort zone and I have to go with it. The social one has benefitted from the non-social one and vice versus. They've learned not to do something because that's what expected by the crowd. They participate in what makes them comfortable. Part of high school is learning how to be your own person. It takes years but even Homecoming can be a lesson for all.
Cute article about the drama of girls living life to excess and the parents that feed that type of lifestyle. Makes me thankful I have popular kids that understand the realities in life.
It is nice that you obviously support your blogger Lisa. I have posted a reply to one of the replies of Lisa's blog post. I do not think Lisa is a bad person and in some way I see that she is trying to write a funny article relevant to her fan base. Perhaps a funnier article would expose the ridiculousness of it all. It isn't a funny article at all. In fact, although I could somewhat relate, I didn't laugh once. I wanted it to be funny......Here is something funny.....My ex husband whom I referenced in my article said I do not properly cloth my children for special events...! But maybe that is true. Recently I bought my two daughters dresses at Kohls so as they could have appropriate attire for fancy events in St Charles (I live in Philly). I ran around (the night before putting them on a plane for St. Charles) so nervous for my daughters to look appropriate for whatever garden party that my St.Charles neuveau riche ex was having, that after I acquired these two dresses (at Kohls) (2/10 stars) I actually RAN A RED LIGHT on the way to WALMART trying to complete the outfits with black flats. The ticket cost me $$100.00 perhaps I should have gone to Needless Markup in King of Prussia....then maybe I could get to keep my children.....cross your fingers folks the custody battle and Homecoming tickets hag in the balance. Again battle late october.....and remember I don't properly cloth....(or feed for that matter) my kids. lmao
3 weeks prior: Come up with a cute, creative and memorable method of asking the girl to go with you. Hopefully she says yes! Start working extra shifts at work to pay for the evening. Purchase homecoming tickets from school bookstore. 2 weeks prior find out what color dress she will wear and purchase new shirt & tie to coordinate. Have your hair cut. Negotiate with Father on what car you can drive that evening. Coordinate with your other guy friends about how much you can spend on the evening & make dinner reservations. Work extra shifts in order to have enough money for the evening. 1 week prior: Order corsage that coordinates with the girls dress. Keep working extra shifts to pay for the evening. Day of homecoming dance: Get up early, fill approved car with gas (because Dads not paying for your date!). Pick up corsage at florist (and pay for it) Bring car home, wash & wax it & vacuum. Pick up girl, take photos & meet her parents. Take her to dinner (again boy pays). Escort her through a lovely evening. Take her bowling (again, boy pays) Drive her home safely, and then drive yourself home making it back by curfew. Still think teen boys have it "easy".